RAHASIA JIWA ANAK REMAJA
_”Pak, anak saya, mulai kenal rokok, melawan jika dinasihati, susah disuruh sholat. Capek harus harus ngingatkan. Padahal dulu waktu SD tidak begitu. Tetapi setelah SMP jadi berubah seperti ini._”
_”Gimana cara ngomong biar dia nurut?_”
Apakah Anda pernah merasakan kondisi seperti ini?
Hmmm…..
Persoalannya anak remaja beda dengan orang dewasa. Beda pula dengan anak kecil.
Saat anak masik kecil, orang tua menggunakan bahasa perintah. Itu efektif karena anak sebelum baligh, disebut oleh Ibnul Jauzy sebagai pelayan. Maka bahasa perintah cukup manjur di fase itu. Mungkin itu pula hikmahnya anak usia 7 diperintahkan untuk sholat. Anak-anak fase sebelum baligh memang lebih mudah menerima bahasa perintah.
Ada fakta yang tidak disadari seiring perkembangan ananda…
Cara berpikirnya, keinginannya, pilihan hidup, referensi belajarnya, cara bergaulnya, dan keberanian memgambil keputusan pun berubah seiring bertambah usianya.
Namun sayangnya, sebagian orang tua memperlakukan anak SMP sama dengan anak SD.
Orang tua masih menggunakan “bahasa perintah” untuk anak SMP dan menyangka model komunikasi tersebut juga manjur untuk anaknya yang sudah berusia SMP.
Kita tidak menyadari bahwa kejiwaan anak berubah seiring waktu. Namun, orang tua tidak berubah sikap, cara bicara dan cara mendampinginya.
Efeknya???
Orang tua kaget atas perkembangan anak dan sulit mengendalikannya.
Orang tua perlu berubah style seiring dengan berkembangnya kejiwaan anak.
Ibnul Jauzy menyampaikan, anak usia 14 jika diperlakukan dengan baik, maka ia akan menjadi teman, jika diperlakukan buruk, ia akan menjadi musuh. Anak usia ini sedang belajar memantapkan diri untuk lepas dari pengaruh orang tua.
Ini karakter dasar anak remaja. Ia memang sedang belajar menjauh dari orang tua karena setelah itu kodratnya harus menjadi dewasa. Namun jika ia menjauh tanpa bekal, ia bisa tersesat.
Di fase ini, orang tua perlu ngobrol lebih banyak, agar orang tua tetap menjadi teman dan referensi bagi anaknya.
Cara komunikasi di fase ini harus benar-benar hati-hati karena kejiwaan mereka sedang sangat labil.
Dalam Al Qur’an setidaknya Ada 17 dialog Orang tua Dan Anak.
Meskipun di dalamnya ada dialog orang tua dengan balita, juga dialog dengan anak sebelum menikah, namun sebagian besar dialog-dialog tersebut adalah dialog orang tua dan anak remaja.
Maka renungan bagi orang tua jika ananda sedang berada di fase remaja….
Siapkan diri untuk banyak dialog dengan anak, luangkan waktu lebih dari sebelumnya…jika tidak demikian, maka anak akan menghabiskan waktunya untuk menyerap pengaruh dari luar. Hasbunalloh
Semoga Alloh senantiasa menjaga diri dan keluarga kita. Aamiin
by. M. Nadhif Khalyani
—–
Kelas Parenting : 17 Dialog Orang Tua dan Anak Dalam Al Qur’an Menjaga Ananda Tumbuh Sesuai Fitrahnya, Meski Orang Tua Tidak Selamanya Bersama
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