Orang Tua Suka Mendiamkan Anak Saat Marah*
By M. Nadhif Khalyani
Anak-anak tetaplah anak-anak, kadang ia menyenangkan. Namun kadang juga membuat kesal orang tua.
Menyenangkan dan mengesalkan sebenarnya adalah kebaikan, selama bisa memahaminya dengan baik.
Saat anak menyenangkan, sebenarnya kita sedang “ditampilkan” sisi yang patut disyukuri pada dirinya. Ada rahmat Alloh didalam dirinya yang membuat hati kita tenang dan nyaman.
Begitu pula, saat dalam dirinya nampak keburukan, membuat emosi meledak, sebenarnya kita pun sedang “diajari” sebuah fakta, bahwa anak kita adalah manusia biasa. Tak selamanya, anak nampak sebagai penyejuk mata. Kadang ia memang sebagai ujian.
Buruk kah keadaan demikian?
Tidak. Bahkan kebaikan.
Dengan keburukan tersebut, orang tua sedang belajar hal baru bernama sabar. Belajar hal baru bersikap baik dalam semua keadaan.
Namun, ada orang tua yang bersikap sama seperti anaknya.
Ia memilih mendiamkan anaknya saat marah dan tidak mau menyelesaikan kesalahan anaknya.
Sebagaimana anaknya memilih diam, saat kesal kepada kedua orang tuanya.
Orang tua ingin mengajari anaknya dengan cara mendiamkannya, saat ia melihat anaknya berbuat kesalahan.
“Saya diemin, biar dia mikir ustadz…”
Begitu kurang lebih kira-kira kalimatnya.
Ayah dan bunda,
Pada anak yang memiliki bekal ilmu dan kematangan jiwa, ia akan menangkap pesan itu. Ia sadar ia salah. Juga, ia tahu harus berbuat seperti apa.
Namun pada anak-anak yang tidak cukup bekal ilmu. Terlebih jika disertai sikap emosional orang tua maka Ia akan kebingungan, jiwanya tertekan atas sikap orang tua yang tidak ia mengerti.
Efeknya??
Mungkin ada 2 pilihan yang akan terjadi dalam jiwanya
*Pertama*, ia memilih masa bodoh dengan sikap orang tuanya. Ia tidak tahu, ia tidak paham atas kesalahan yang ia perbuat, ia juga tidak tahu cara memperbaiki diri. Intinya jiwanya hanya tahu 1 hal ” saya salah”.
Mungkin pada anak yang seperti ini, akan lebih merasa menyenangkan sibuk dengan diri sendiri, dan atau dengan temannya.
*Kedua*, ia memilih terus menerus menyalahkan dirinya sendiri. Ia takut melihat kemarahan orang tua yang tidak ia mengerti. Ia takut untuk bicara, ia terus menerus merasa salah.
Iya…ujungnya tertekan jiwanya. Ia lebih memilih mengunci diri dalam kamar, atau menjauh dari orang tua.
Efeknya??
Mungkin Ia cenderung menarik diri, atau menyalahkan diri sendiri dalam setiap keadaan yang tidak menyenangkan.
Kedua sikap ini tidak menguntungkan bagi anak dan bagi orang tua.
Solusinya?
Orang tua tidak boleh bersikap seperti anak, saat emosi. Orang tua harus bisa bersikap baik. Jika anak berbuat kesalahan, jangan didiamkan tetapi hadapi dengan baik, selesaikan, tenangkan, ajari hal yang benar, kendalikan keburukannya.
Gunakan bahasa verbal yang baik dan sentuhan untuk mendekat dengannya.
Orang tua itu ditakdirkan punya jiwa seluas samudra untuk anaknya. Maka pasti, orang tua mampu bersikap melebihi dari orang biasa.
Wallohua’lam
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